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Saturday, 19 September 2015

It's been a while but I shall return...soon...X

Monday, 29 December 2014

Hope you had a beautiful Christmas wherever you are...x

Monday, 22 December 2014

Love, that is all...X

Night-time run, luxurious and needed. How inspiring a street-lit metaphor can be... running with my shadow's frame in front, still striving forwards and apparently strong regardless of how different I feel inwardly at times. Christmas is particularly difficult if you find yourself/selves without the loved ones that have created the very definition of this celebration. I read a really helpful article today (hang on while I get my pink notebook) written by Victoria Milligan in the Times that refers to this very abject feeling. One year on despite losing her husband and daughter in a tragic accident in Padstow she too strives forwards regardless of the huge loss she and her family feel. Read on, this helped. Victoria's words completely expressed how I feel at this time: "everything I do makes me realise what I have lost. There is so much family tradition that each action triggers another memory [...] last year I couldn't even contemplate getting a tree"... tricky...card, gifts with namesakes upon further stapling the loss making one feel "desperately sad [...and therefore...] emphasising what I am missing." Yes, a few tears have been shed for those we/I cannot have back, still. Grief has no limit. So the question was this 'What if you don't find comfort of joy this Christmas?' her response in short: "I am going to enjoy each joyful moment [...] I am going to live in the present", me too Victoria. Further advice: don't try to be too strong, it is sad and you miss them. It is appropriate to feel like this, especially at this time where there are grief triggers everywhere and much emphasis on family. Christmas will not be the same but it can still be full of JOY and this IS what your lost loved ones would want it to be. Thanks so much to Victoria Milligan and Love to those of you, that like myself, feel a little lost at Christmas. It's ok, there is joy, love and momentous laughter...after all I just ran past a flashing green lit-collared pug...X

Sunday, 7 December 2014

Sometimes you just have to pull over and capture a golden path in the countyside that flickers so brilliantly. A stunning view on the drive home, all that glitters...may as well be gold to me. Gratitude...x

There is nothing more meditative than staring into the beautiful sea for me. On reflection of another near year it is good to acknowledge the depth of my learning and subsequent growth from experiences. I am stronger, wiser and able to appreciate everything that surrounds me more than ever. Life, death, love and loss, beauty and the horror in binary opposition to each other need each other to be present as do we. All part of the journey; that intricate tapestry. Above all the knowledge that love exists in everything, connects to everything and is the key to everything is a beautifully reassuring affirmation. May my motto be love emblazoned for all to see, yours too...x  

Saturday, 22 November 2014

Today I received a positive result, more than one in fact. BRCA 1 and 2 negative. The relief was unsurmountable. Hugely significant reminder....The Gift of Life is never to be underestimated, sometimes you just have to focus on what is really important. The latter.  Grab that wonderful life passionately with both hands and Live it...X